This is so unhealthy... but is it normal?

O yah that is totally normal!!! I myself have endometriosis (not the same type as you) and a hysterectomy was being talked about. it was the deciding factor that made my hubby and I start our family. I'd always wanted kids but he was still in school but upon realizing we might not get another chance we started trying to conceive literally a month after we got married. (the wedding was already over when we found out about the endo). I completely understand the overwhelming need to not shut down the bio-clock, especially if you'd planned on having more kids or had even considered it. Let yourself feel this. you need too. It's OK. and it will be OK.